Copyright . Carter. All rights reserved.
Thoughts Of A Man
By: Earl Winston Carter Jr
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Preface
What motivated me to write this book is, I feel really bad for many of the women out there who have a very difficult time finding a good man. All women want, is to be loved. On the other hand, I am very disgusted with many of the women that we, good men, have to choose from. The generation of women that I have to choose from is clueless. The reason why men and women have problems in relationships is there is a lack of understanding of the fundamental makeup of the opposite sex and how they think. The tendency is to deal with the opposite sex as we would our own sex not understanding that we are different. The differences has to do with our wants, our needs, our thought process, and our desires. Most women make the mistake of thinking that men think as they do. That is a big fallacy. When I was younger, so many people used to say to me, “You get on my nerves!” and I hated that! No one would tell me what it was that I was doing that “got on their nerves.” As disconcerting as it was, it really had a lasting effect on me because I never knew what I was doing and no one took the time to tell me. Well, it is the same with women today. All women want to be loved and cherished by a man but, most of them have no idea what it is that they are doing or are not doing as to why they can not find love, get, and keep a man. The problem is, many women are not taught how to understand a man; how to treat a man; and what to do to keep a man. Well, I’m going to tell you.
This book is not my attempt to impress you with some sort of elitist vernacular nor am I going to use jargon to try to impress my critics. I will attempt to use easily understandable language so as to ensure that the point is gotten. We live in a society in which young women are taught by music videos, television, and movies. The problem with movies and music videos is they do not present a realistic perspective for a young woman to learn about womanhood and how to be truly desirable to a man. They do not have anyone mature in their lives to tell them that certain perceptions conveyed are not the way. They are falsey led to believe that sex is all that a man needs. This thought process is destructive because it leads a young woman down a path that can lead her to losing her womanly beauty and robbing herself of her dignity and self respect. There are many things in movies and music videos that present clear evidence of the nature of men and women. That is why music videos and movies are so effective in captivating so many people, because they appeal to the inner desires of both men and women, although they’re not realistic. Counterintuitive to what many young women think, the media allow young women to dream and to fantasize, giving them a false perspective and false expectations of the realities of life in being a woman. As a result, it makes it easy for boys, not men, to take advantage of women.
Keep in mind, the opposite sex serves a purpose. We long for the opposite sex because they have something that makes us feel complete. We have these prideful women today who will say that they “don’t need a man.” But, it’s ‘not a matter of need, it’s a matter of being or feeling complete. A table does not need a tablecloth, but if you place one on it, it adds to the beauty and it may serve as a protection for that table; it complements the table. As a woman, you have to understand that being a woman fills a need that is not present in a man. That need is something that he longs for. That is why it is very important for you to know yourself emotionally, so that you can know who you are, your emotional makeup and what you have to offer in order to get the maximum amount of happiness out of life.
Women have needs that only a man can fill. Most young women do not know what those needs are, and they were not raised with many of the qualities that a man needs in order to faclitate her needs being met. Most women are made to feel that some of the man’s needs are beneath them to give. They are taught that sex is the fixall for men, which is not the case if you want a long term meaningful relationship. Now, do not misconstrue what I am trying to convey, sex is very important to a man but, you have to understand that sex can be gotten anywhere. You have to create a need for yourself beyond sex. Think of this: if you have something or an ability that your best friend needs, why is it humiliating to be the one to give it to them? When you have a quality or an ability that another needs, what that does is, it creates an additional purpose for you or a need for you for the other person. There is nothing wrong with being needed or wanting to be needed; it’s natural. The needs of a woman can very easily be looked at, by a man, as being beneath him to give also.
I guess I am also being selfish in writing this book, because at thirty-five years of age, I am looking for a wife, and it has been very frustrating for me. I have come to know what I want and need, as a man, but I find that I do not have many good women to choose from. There are not many womanly women, in my generation, for me to choose from. I know that many women will say that there are not any good men out there either, which may very well be the case but, women fail to realize the power that they have to find a good man and/or to create a good man for themselves. A woman can always change a man but it is very difficult for a man to change a woman’s attitude. You may say, “Why do I have to mold a man to be a man?” It’s not about molding a man to be a man. It’s about molding a man to be the man for you, the perfect fit. Most women do not realize that they have to mold a man to be the perfect fit for her specific emotional needs. To get a good man and/or to create one, you have to be a good woman first. You also have to know yourself and know what you want and need, not in a material way, but emotionally from a man. Women are one of the reasons why there are not many good men. Just as the saying goes, “Behind every good man is a good woman.” That statement is so true, and I will explain why.
Creating a man is like buying an outfit. You may be looking for a business suit. When you go to the store to buy a business suit, you look for business suit, not a swim suit. All business suits are business suits but not every business suit will fit you properly. So you would look for a suit that has the style that you want and the size that you need. When you try on that business suit, as with any business suit, you may have to get it tailored to your unique shape. When you tailor the suit to your shape it will bring out your best look and it will compliment your body. Well, it is the same with a man. All men are males but, not all men were raised to be a custom fit for you and your specific needs, no man is. You will find some men that will have many of the things that you need, but you will always have to “tailor” a man to be a custom fit for your emotional needs. All men are capable of being fitted for a woman, if the basic things are there. It just depends on how bad he wants you and how congenial he will be to your technique of tailoring. I will explain later. I know that many of you may have read books and were frustrated because the writer never answered your questions well enough. I promise to be concise and direct. I will not be focused on using winsome word to patronize your emotions. I am going to reveal truths to you. You will understand men so much better after reading this book. However, I would like for you to understand this: In reading my book, some of the things that I may say are not absolute but of the several things that I discuss, almost all of what I say has a measure of truth to it. This book is not for you to assume anything about your man. I am hoping that, if you do have a man, this book will create and open discussion between the two of you. Please do not use my book to condemn him; it is for you to understand him.
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